HEALTH & WELLNESS

Pain of losing a loved one

When we lose a loved one, the pain we experience can feel unbearable. Understandably, grief is complicated and we sometimes wonder if the pain will ever end. We go through a variety of emotional experiences such as anger, confusion, and sadness.

Loss, it’s a part of life. We cannot escape it, we cannot run or hide from it, it is just part and parcel of life. In the Gita, it says there are only four things certain in this world, those are birth, old age, death, and disease/illness. Yes, I know this all sounds a bit morbid and serious, but its purpose is to familiarize us with these concepts. If you become more familiar with something, the more you can come to terms with it and the easier it can be to cope. No, that doesn’t mean we don’t feel the pain of loss but what it does do is allow us to not live in illusion or constant avoidance of the inevitable..

Stages of Grief

Denial 

Denial helps us minimize the overwhelming pain of loss. It can be hard to believe we have lost an important person in our lives, especially when we may have just spoken with this person the previous week or even the previous day.

Our reality has shifted completely in this moment of loss. It can take our minds some time to adjust to this new reality. We are reflecting on the experiences we have shared with the person we lost, and we might find ourselves wondering how to move forward in life without this person.

Anger

It is common to experience anger after the loss of a loved one. We are trying to adjust to a new reality and we are likely experiencing extreme emotional discomfort. There is so much to process that anger may feel like it allows us an emotional outlet.

Keep in mind that anger does not require us to be very vulnerable. However, it tends to be more socially acceptable than admitting we are scared. Anger allows us to express emotion with less fear of judgment or rejection.

Bargaining 

When coping with loss, it isn’t unusual to feel so desperate that you are willing to do almost anything to alleviate or minimize the pain. When bargaining starts to take place, we are often directing our requests to a higher power, or something bigger than we are that may be able to influence a different outcome. 

Depression 

During our experience of processing grief, there comes a time when our imaginations calm down and we slowly start to look at the reality of our present situation. Bargaining no longer feels like an option and we are faced with what is happening.

We start to feel the loss of our loved one more abundantly. As our panic begins to subside, the emotional fog begins to clear and the loss feels more present and unavoidable.

Acceptance 

When we come to a place of acceptance, it is not that we no longer feel the pain of loss. However, we are no longer resisting the reality of our situation, and we are not struggling to make it something different.

Sadness and regret can still be present in this phase, but the emotional survival tactics of denial, bargaining, and anger are less likely to be present.

We are all spiritual beings, the soul is eternal and everything else from our body to our relationships are temporary BUT A SOUL CONNECTION can last longer than one lifetime and so focussing on building a soul connection with the people you love while we have the beautiful opportunity to. THAT is an eternal bond that will never be broken, beyond any relationship of human physical connection with another..that will connect you for lifetimes and beyond!

I Love you Papa!! I know you are watching on me every second.

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